Wash Your Hands
I’m not worried about swine flu, but I am taking a few extra precautions. You know, washing my hands more, staring accusingly at mexicans on the bus, and accepting Jesus into my heart.
So the other day I decided to make a fun little sign at work to remind my coworkers to wash their hands, so as not to spread disease. I grabbed some clipart in Word – a fat disgusting pig, and a festive sombrero. I put the sombrero on the pig using my elite clipart design skills, and the simple message “WASH YOUR HANDS” at the bottom. I put up a copy in each washroom at the office.
Eye-catching, simple, gets the message across beautifully, full of win. Right?
Well, I guess the stereotyipcal mexican imagery must have offended someone. Actually, what likely happened was a completely non-ethnic boring white person thought that it might offend mexicans, or thought that they should be offended on behalf of mexicans. I dunno, but either way, they took down my lovely signs.
In their place, I find this abomination:
Look at that bullshit! It’s clearly some over-thought comittee-chosen watered-down piece of garbage poster. If anything, this is the offensive one! I friggin’ know how to wash my hands! I don’t need step by step instructions!
My sign was a simple reminder: “hey everyone, keep in mind, there’s a nasty flu going around our city, so wash up.” Their sign implies that everyone working here is an idiot.
Here’s the real kicker though, this proves it was done by committee. We don’t have paper towels in our washrooms. The sign says that our officially recommended proper hand washing technique requires paper towels to turn off the faucet! We have air dryers!
This is the heart and soul of bureaucratic decision making. Enact a policy which is impossible to follow. Beautiful.