Wash Your Hands

I’m not worried about swine flu, but I am taking a few extra precautions. You know, washing my hands more, staring accusingly at mexicans on the bus, and accepting Jesus into my heart.

So the other day I decided to make a fun little sign at work to remind my coworkers to wash their hands, so as not to spread disease. I grabbed some clipart in Word – a fat disgusting pig, and a festive sombrero. I put the sombrero on the pig using my elite clipart design skills, and the simple message “WASH YOUR HANDS” at the bottom.  I put up a copy in each washroom at the office.


Eye-catching, simple, gets the message across beautifully, full of win. Right?

Well, I guess the stereotyipcal mexican imagery must have offended someone. Actually, what likely happened was a completely non-ethnic boring white person thought that it might offend mexicans, or thought that they should be offended on behalf of mexicans. I dunno, but either way, they took down my lovely signs.

In their place, I find this abomination:


Look at that bullshit! It’s clearly some over-thought comittee-chosen watered-down piece of garbage poster. If anything, this is the offensive one! I friggin’ know how to wash my hands! I don’t need step by step instructions!

My sign was a simple reminder: “hey everyone, keep in mind, there’s a nasty flu going around our city, so wash up.” Their sign implies that everyone working here is an idiot.

Here’s the real kicker though, this proves it was done by committee. We don’t have paper towels in our washrooms. The sign says that our officially recommended proper hand washing technique requires paper towels to turn off the faucet! We have air dryers!

This is the heart and soul of bureaucratic decision making. Enact a policy which is impossible to follow. Beautiful.


~ by jbrydle on May 8, 2009.

13 Responses to “Wash Your Hands”

  1. Holy mother fucker. I hate your job too.

    I used to work in an office where they put “wash your hands” signs up in the ladies room but they put the sign over the tank, rather than on the door facing the toilet. Which is what every woman looks at when she’s in the bathroom, because we need to sit. I pointed this out to the person who posted the sign, suggesting we’d have a better chance of people reading/obeying a sign they see for more than .2 seconds, and she thought for a second before saying, “But if we move it, then no men would read it!”

    In the ladies room!


  2. P.S.: I was totally offended by the pig poster. RACIST!

    Probably don’t believe in God either. Pfft!

  3. That is so offensive. Basically, what your employer is saying is that if you can’t speak english or sign language we don’t care about you washing your hands. What about dirty smelly foreigners or blind people? Also, one of the hands is covered up with a paper towel. How can deaf people read it? Paper towel is not a helpful sign!

    Your sign is quite appropriate. It’s always good to remember to wash your hands when eating pork because you can get terrible parasites from handling raw pork. Plus, I like the sombrero because it makes the picture really festive and adds a lot of color.

    I will admit that some people may have seen it as racist and I could understand that. What people have to understand is that Mexicans are a proud and industrious people who just happen to get sleepy a lot while they work.

    Seriously though, swine flu is kind of a joke. I love how everyone loses their mind over it. And those masks that people wear are awesome. Apparently studies show that those masks do nothing to help you. I also read about a study which showed that wearing those masks does in fact make you look like a giant douche. It was a really interesting study with lots of statistics.

  4. I’d tell you to complain about not being able to follow the sign because you don’t have any paper towels and make a big deal about it. But, that would require talking to people at work and showing interest and I think the less time you think about or take part in your work, the healthier you will be.

  5. Is it a joke? I’m not buying into the CNN style hysteria, and I’m not wearing a face mask (I’m not really concerned about it any more, frankly) but I’ve heard some actual doctors and virologists and epidemiologists say it’s a valid potential threat.

    And Ian, your comments are friggin’ hilarious. Had me L’ing, as they say, OL.

  6. The problem with public health measures is when they succeed, nothing happens. In this way public health becomes a victim of its own success, like vaccines. If there is no swine flu pandemic, people tend to assume that therefore there never was going to be – they don’t often consider that the efforts of governments and health personnel had a hell of a lot to do with it (the quarantines in Mexico for example). I agree the hysteria was a bit… hysterical. But that shouldn’t be taken to mean that there was no threat. There was. The problem is CNN is a bunch of jackasses.

    As for face masks, the problem isn’t the technology but rather the application. When used properly they are incredibly effective – unfortunately most people fuck it up by touching the edges or inside of the mask, etc.

  7. Ok, this is the part where I explain myself a little better so I don’t seem like an ignorant boob (which I am). When I said swine flu was kind of a joke, I meant more the hysteria surrounding swine flu and what the media is doing with it. I recognize that swine flu is a valid threat to public health on a global scale. I also think it’s important to take into account that predicting the spread of a virus is super tricky with plenty of error, and that any statistical measured used will most likely be the most conservative and, more likely a worst case scenario, in order to cover the WHO’s asses. However, I’ll also admit that I fall into the trap of only thinking about health issues in terms of the mortality rate, and often fail to take into account the number of people who could become sick but not die. From a mortality perspective, swine flu isn’t that big of an issue (although its rapid spread and the ability of flu viruses to mutate into new things is a high concern). That all being said, this talk of swine flu being the pestilent horseman that will ravage the world is absolute bullshit. I think we’ll be alright … at least for the time being. I think the more pressing threat at the moment are the crab people (and by crab people, I mean North Korea … zing!).

    But yeah, I agree that the main problem with masks are the application, as people use them more like some magical shield then a piece of medical equipment, and often have no idea how to use them properly. I wonder if they provide some sort of placebo protection (like people wearing them feel safer and less worried and maybe don’t get as sick … probably not though).

    I completely agree with the institutions becoming victims of their own success (poor vaccinations … they work so hard and people don’t give them any respect). I think I might write a blog entry on vaccinations at some point. I recently read a bunch about Jenny McCarthy … apparently she cured her son of autism … she must be really smart … oh wait … what was that … her son probably doesn’t have autism … he probably has Landau-Kleffner syndrome, which is often misdiagnosed as austism … . I don’t want to go into too much of a rant here though.

  8. http://www.jennymccarthybodycount.com

  9. “If you ask a parent of an autistic child if they want the measles or the autism, we will stand in line for the f___ing measles.” – Jenny McCarthy

    That’s nice. She would rather have a child become ill and possibly die then get autism. Well … at least she’s honest.

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