My crappy morning, or, “More like ASS-port!”
But I’m clever – I read the fine print. It says if you need urgent processing, to get your passport in 10 days or fewer, you need to submit the application at a special location, and it provides a link.
So I click the link, and it asks me where I live. I say Burnaby, and it says “ok, here’s the same one option.” So I feel pretty good about this being the right place. It’s open from 7-4. Fuck. I can’t go after work.
So I get up early this morning, have an unexpected, surprise, COLD SHOWER because our water heater is broken AGAIN, and I bike to the ONE LOCATION where I can submit my application for a fast passport. The jaded government employee behind the counter, who seems to have made it her little project to be as unwelcoming as possible, greets me with a terse “Next.”
This place is called “Service Canada.” A joke, I’m assuming.
I hand her my application and she asks if I’m travelling within the next 6 weeks. I say yes (going to Vegas in July for TAM7!!!). She goes “you can’t do this here,” and I say “The website said this is where–”
“You need to go to Passport Canada.”
“Uh… I did. Their website told me to come here to–”
“No. We’re a receiving agent. We take up to 6 weeks. You need to go to motherfucking Richmond.”
“Jesus… Ok, well can you look over my application to make sure they’ll accept it, because it would be a real bitch if I had to make two trips to Richmond.”
“No, we only review applications when they’re submitted. Next.”
So I continue on to work, where I now sit, covered in oatmeal, because I spilled it all over myself, my desk, and my office while trying to make a simple breakfast.